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John Lyshitski is a car stealing slacker, with a weed problem, and has been in Illinois’ Rossmore State Penitentiary so many times, he knows it’s entire population of both staff and cons by their fast names. Cursed with the old ill luck of being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in possession of the wrong car, he’s been deemed a lost cause repeat offender in the eyes of everyone else. When the heartless judge, who has been behind most of his sentences, goes to the big court house in the sky, John decides to ruin the man’s legacy by having the judge’s only offspring, Nelson Biederman IV, thrown in the slammer along with him. Here, the world-class selfish jerk learns a certain old lesson the hard way: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. But has John somewhat gone too far in the payback department?

Samantha’s life is going downhill fast. The fifteen-year-old has a crush on the most popular boy in school, and the geekiest boy in school has a crush on her. Her sister’s getting married, and with all the excitement the rest of her family forgets her birthday! Add all this to a pair of horrendously embarrassing grandparents, a foreign exchange student named Long Duc Dong, and we have the makings of a hilarious journey into young womanhood.

Paul “Wrecking” Crewe was a revered football superstar back in his day, but that time has since faded. But when a messy drunk driving incident lands him in jail, Paul finds he was specifically requested by Warden Hazen (James Cromwell), a duplicitous prison official well aware of Paul’s athletic skills. Paul has been assigned the task of assembling a team of convicts, to square off in a big football game against the sadistic guards. With the help of fellow convict Caretaker, and an old legend named Nate Scarborough to coach, Crewe is ready for what promises to be a very interesting game. It’s only the warden and the guards who have no idea who or what they’re up against, with Paul the driving force behind the new team.

In the distant future high school kids are encouraged to become citizens by joining the military. What they don’t know is that they’ll soon be engaged in a full scale war against a planet of alien insects. The fight is on to ensure the safety of humanity.