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Andy at the age of 40 still hasn’t had sex. He lets his secret slip at a poker game with his buds from work. After the revealing all his friends are on a mission to help get him laid. Along the way Andy meets a nice mom: Trish who fall head over heels for each other.

In 1936, the expatriated young and naive just-graduated British John Truscott (Hugh Dancy) arrives to the Sarawak, a British colony, to work in the Iban society. The beautiful Selima (Jessica Alba) is assigned to be his “sleeping dictionary”, to live and sleep with him and teach him the language and habits of the locals. The reluctant John and Selima fall in love for each other in a forbidden romance.

The major sub-plot circles around the youngest Griffin, Stewie, who has a near-death experience at a pool when a lifeguard chair falls on him, but he survives. After having a vision of being in Hell, he decides to change his ways, but this doesn’t last long. While watching television, he and Brian spot a man that looks like Stewie. Brian is convinced that he is Stewie’s real father, until Stewie learns that the man is actually himself as an adult, taking a vacation from his own time period. Baby Stewie visits thirty years later to discover that his adult self, going by the name Stu, is a single blue-collar middle-aged virgin working at a Circuit City-type store. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois are trying to teach their two older kids, Meg and Chris, to date. In the future, Chris, who hasn’t changed much, is working as a cop and is married to a foul-mouthed hustler named Vanessa. Meg is now called Ron, since she had a sex-change after college.

More than 300 years ago, 3 witches were sentenced to die in Salem, Massachusetts and a boy was turned into a cat (a black cat, naturally). Now it’s Halloween, and the witches (who fly on [I kid you not] vacuum cleaners) are back. This time, they’ve got their eyes on immortal life and have turned their wrath on trick-or-treaters and it’s up to the 300-year-old cat to save the day.