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Bartleby (B.) Gaines is a fun loving slacker who, unfortunately, gets turned down for every college he applied for, much to the charign of his overly expectant parents. So, with a little cutting and pasting, he creates the South Harmon Institute of Technology, and lo and behold, he is accepted (along with his friends Rory, Hands, and Glen, whose college plans were also all but dashed). However, his parents want to see the website, the campus, and the dean. So now he has his other friend Sherman (who has been accepted to the prestigious Harmon College) build a web page, they lease out an abandoned psychiatric hospital, and they hire Sherman’s uncle Ben (played to perfection by comedian Lewis Black) to be the dean. Problem solved? Not quite. The web page was done so well, that hundreds of students show up at the front door, all of which were turned down by other colleges. Faced with no choice, Bartleby decides to proceed with turning South Harmon into a real college, and sets about figuring out what to teach and how to teach it. Meanwhile at Harmon, dean Van Horne meets with Hoyt Ambrose, a rich law student and head of the KBE fraternity (which Sherman is trying to become a member of), to discuss building a gateway for Harmon using land presently being used by South Harmon. He tries finding the leaseholder of the land, to no avail. Meanwhile, his girlfriend, Monica, catches him cheating on her, and a big party at South Harmon lures a chunk of Harmon’s students away, including Monica into the arms of Bartleby. Now Hoyt uses Sherman, knowing he has been bouncing between the two schools, in an attempt to bring South Harmon down for good. However, Bartleby has an accreditation appointment with the state Board of Education to prove South Harmon’s worthiness. Can he legally bring the South Harmon Institute of Technology to life and win the love of Monica?

Don Anderson (Greg Kinnear) is the Mickey’s food restaurant chain’s Marketing Director. He is the inventor of the “Big One” the hamburger best seller of Mickey’s. An independent research reports the presence of cow’s feces in the Big One. So Don is sent to Cody, Colorado, to verify if the slaughterhouse, main supplier of Mickey’s, is efficient as it appears and the production process is regular. During his investigations he discovers the horrible truth behind a simple hamburger; the reality is not like we think it is. Don discovers that the mass production system involves from the temp workers like Amber (Ashley Jonhson), to the exploitation of Mexican irregular immigrants. It is not only the meat that is crush in the mincing machine, but all our society.

After destroying a case involving a crime lord, Harry Callahan is sent down to San Paulo to investigate the killing of a man found dead in a car. Jennifer (the killer of the man in the car) is murdering all the rapists who brutally raped both her and her sister 10 years ago, and she has returned to San Paulo to exact her revenge. Harry becomes inadvertently involved in Jennifer’s own troubles during his investigations, all the while not suspecting she is the killer.

This modern retelling of the classic fairytale follows a beautiful college freshman as she pledges her late mother’s once dignified sorority. But after discovering that today’s sisterhood is not what it used to be, Sydney finds her new home away from home with seven outcasts. With the help of her socially challenged new friends, Sydney will take on the reigning campus queen to attempt to transform the school’s misguided social hierarchy.

Darren Giles has lost his college scholarship, can’t work up the courage to ask out the girl of his dreams and doesn’t have the cash to stay in college another semester. Unless he can survive the teenage dominatrix, New York’s largest drug mogul, convince his parents he’s not gay, write a paper on Dante’s Inferno, escape three thugs chasing the wrong guy and sell fifty pills of ecstasy in time to make his tuition payment, he’ll never get the chance to date the girl of his dreams.

Lions for Lambs begins after two determined students at a West Coast University, Arian and Ernest, follow the inspiration of their idealistic professor, Dr. Malley, and attempt to do something important with their lives. But when the two make the bold decision to join the battle in Afghanistan, Malley is both moved and distraught. Now, as Arian and Ernest fight for survival in the field, they become the string that binds together two disparate stories on opposite sides of America. In California, an anguished Dr. Malley attempts to reach a privileged but disaffected student who is the very opposite of Arian and Ernest. Meanwhile, in Washington D.C. the charismatic Presidential hopeful, Senator Jasper Irving, is about to give a bombshell story to a probing TV journalist that may affect Arian and Ernest’s fates.

When a small town is invaded by aliens from outer space who are capturing and killing the townspeople, no one takes them seriously. Why? The aliens all look like circus clowns, use weapons that look clown like, and all have painted on smiles. Only a few of the young people in the town realize the danger and of course no one believes them. Armed with an ice cream truck they try and rescue their friends.

Toula Portokalos is 30, Greek, and works in her family’s restaurant, Dancing Zorba’s, in Chicago. All her father Gus wants is for her to get married to a nice Greek boy. But Toula is looking for more in life. Her mother convinces Gus to let her take some computer classes at college (making him think it’s his idea). With those classes under her belt, she then takes over her aunt’s travel agency (again making her father think it’s his idea). She meets Ian Miller, a high school English teacher, WASP, and dreamboat she had made a fool of herself over at the restaurant; they date secretly for a while before her family finds out. Her father is livid over her dating a non-Greek. He has to learn to accept Ian; Ian has to learn to accept Toula’s huge family, and Toula has to learn to accept herself.

A road trip takes a deadly turn when a young couple are tormented by a pyschotic hitchhiker who forces them to face their fears head-on.

Imagine our wireless technologies made a connection to a world beyond our own. Imagine that world used that technology as a doorway into ours. Now, imagine the connection we made can’t be shut down. When you turn on your cell phone or log on to your e-mail, they’ll get in, you’ll be infected and they’ll be able to take from you what they don’t have anymore — life.